Why I do what I do…
About 25 years ago, through the work of transformation, I discovered that I really wanted to serve people. Through my participation in intensive personal development work, I saw people who were healing relationships that had been severed for forty years, people who were going after what they wanted in life after giving up on a dream, and people who were challenging themselves to go to a level previously unimagined. I realized that, up until that point in my life my focus had been pretty much about me and my life. I discovered that there was a ‘bigger’ game I wanted to play, impacting people’s lives and having them discover who it is that they were meant to be, living the experience of life that they wanted to live.
As a result, the clients I serve are highly motivated to discover any areas where they have been holding themselves back. They are courageous enough to examine the beliefs that they have operated from as though they are true or a fact, and discover other possibilities. They also are committed to getting beyond feeling victimized and accomplish and take back the power in their lives. They have walked into my office because they do not want someone to simply reflect back what they are saying or slowly step forward week after week. They want someone who will challenge them and care enough to be honest and direct with them.
I am bound by confidentiality in therapy and with my coaching clients, but I would like to give an idea of what inspires me in my work. I want to give a couple examples of inspiring people, with names altered and identities altered so that their confidentiality is protected, but the essence of their story is communicated.
Dan is a bright young man who had struggled in his relationship with his mother since she had abandoned him at a young age, leaving an abusive marriage. He was recognizing that he had certain patterns in his relationships that were limiting his expression of intimacy and connection. Through his work, in our collaboration as well as transformational training work he dove into working on deepening his connection not only with his mother, but also his father and two sisters. Family relationships improved, not to perfection, but to the point where Dan can express himself fully, not getting triggered by perceived slights or what his mother does or does not do. He has freedom, is in a trusting and intimate relationship and is genuinely happy with his life.
Tom and Caitlin came to me about eight years into their marriage for an intensive one-day customized couples work to dive into the patterns that were limiting their capacity for intimacy and trust. Through intensive experiential work, both began to understand how and why they were responding to certain things the other said and the wounds that were still unhealed. They learned communication tools to support when they got stuck and began to see how they had been inavertedly pouring salt into old wounds. They committed to using what they learned and now are moving forhyward when disagreements arise instead of re-wounding each other.
Thankfully I have well over ten thousand stories, of people who I have had the privilege of working with in the work of transformation, coaching and therapy. The stories and personalities are different, but the core is the same – human beings who are committed to being the best they can be, learning from the past and not allowing it to continue to determine the future. I am continually in awe of what is possible in each one of us.