Where to start? Where to start?
Okay, let's start with the idea of you walking into a restaurant with a friend. It's a beautiful day and you've decided to treat yourselves to a dinner out. You walk in and the waitress greets you with a look of distress. She impatiently escorts you to a table. When she takes your order, she is distracted and terse. When you ask the soup specials, she is visibly annoyed and goes back to the kitchen to check, informing you, "it's almost out anyways." The meal progresses. You and your friend chat. But you leave the restaurant feeling a little drag on your system. You've been slimed.
And the way that the drift of humanity does enrollment, it is usually enrollment into "life is a drag," "life is hard," "the boss sucks," "the economy is in ruins." The drift of humanity is usually enrolled in a victim conversation or at affect of circumstances, conditions and obstacles. Unsure about what I'm saying? Go to the checkout line in your grocery store and read the headlines from the tabloids. Listen to the chatter of the checkers and people in line. Check out the water cooler conversation at the office. It should all sound very familiar.
Maybe you're thinking, "yeah, but that's not me. I don't view life that way. I'm pretty positive about my life."
Let me give you another example of enrollment.
Your friend calls excitedly and tells you he's tired of waiting to live life and see the world. He wants to go to Italy with you this summer. Rome, Florence, Venice, Capri -- dream trip. He knows you've been wanting to go for a long time and you have talked about it for a few years now. He is ready to set the date -- leaving May 20. Can you go? You look at your schedule to "prioritize." You then consult your checkbook and bank account. Both of them tell you, NO -- YOU CAN'T GO.
You regretfully tell your friend you will not "be able to" go. He is bummed but headed to Italy without you.
That is enrollment. And the version of enrollment that much of the drift of humanity does is to be enrolled in limitations, stories, reasons, excuses -- using commitments like a prison.
But in living a life of transformation, your job, my job is to always be enrolled in the highest possibility.
A friend and mentor, Gabriel Nossovitch, who many of you know, has told me this. As usual, I noodled it, pulled it apart, challenged it; and it is a pretty amazing job that we have. If there is something that you want to do: DO IT. Do not use money as your reason why you "can't." Do not use your schedule as your excuse. After all, you are the one who filled in your schedule in the first place. [For all you fans of EITHER/OR thinking meaning I can do one thing or the other, but not both - this does not mean you are bailing on your commitments, it means that you expand and reinvent yourself to have it ALL turn out.] It is a challenging job -- but since you and I are gifted with the gift of creation, it is our privilege to create where we have perceived limitations.
So these are a couple of examples of how the drift of humanity enrolls.
What is enrollment? Yes, those of you who are Senior LP's and in LP now, get your correct LP answer ready.
Enrollment is a way of being that opens up possibility such that someone takes distinct action.
Some of us are possibility machines. We excel at having people see possibilities for their lives and in any situations. Some of us are action junkies, we are adept at having people move into action on something -- even if they are not sure why they are moving into action. But enrollment is holding a constant tension between opening possibility and asking the person to take action on what they are speaking -- rather than just have it be a nice wish or dream.
Enrollment is BEING in relationship. It is not working on relationship progressively or in a linear way. It is BEING that you know this person -- even if you are just meeting them. It is being willing to say everything and be totally authentic -- even about your own inauthenticity etc. It is BEING loving and connected in a visceral way to what it is that they want or desire. I have been in enrollment conversations where I have felt transported in time. As the person is describing their wedding, I have seen images of the tables, the venue, her wedding dress, the lighting and the entire wedding like I was actually there.
When you are in an enrollment conversation the energy is electric.
I can stand in the back of a room at a guest event and see which dyads are happening, simply from looking at the energy. The connection between people when enrollment is occurring is deep, powerful, loving and challenging. It is not relaxing. If it is a comfortable chit chat without investment, it is not enrollment. Enrollment is being willing to be all the way over with the other person, willing to say whatever to serve them -- there are no thoughts about 'you,' your fears or concerns. If there are those thoughts they are fleeting and then revealed.
Is enrollment sales?
Yes and No. The best sales people are master enrollers. They are interested in serving the person and what it is that they want. There are stories of the early days of Nordstroms, people coming in and being shocked when the sales person told them that Nordstroms didn't have what they were looking for, but they would call over to Macy's to check. That is an example of being in service to the person and what it is that they want rather than being set on our own agenda. Many people in sales are more interested in making the sale rather than seeing if what the person is saying matches what they are selling.
In Friendship with God, Neale Donald Walsch describes love saying,
"What else does it mean to be totally loving? It means to be fully present, in every single moment.
To be fully aware. To be fully open, honest, transparent. it means to be fully willing, to express the love
that is in your heart full out. To be fully loving means to be fully naked, without hidden agenda or
hidden motive, without hidden anything."
To me, this is a great definition of enrollment. Enrollment is being naked and revealed. Revealed about whatever agenda you have. Revealed about your love and commitment to the other person. Naked with your own fears exposed. Sometimes when people begin the Leadership Program, they suddenly think that they need to be covert or hidden about what they are doing. They hide the fact that they are transforming the world. They apologize for their commitment to enrolling people in the trainings. They keep their team stand buried. It's like being a closet visionary. Shout it from the rooftops. Martin Luther King didn't hide his stand. He didn't apologize for enrolling people in registering to vote. Enrollment is being revealed and up front. Otherwise it is manipulation and manipulation is not enrolling.
Finally, many of you have heard me talk about what we want in the relationships that are closest to us.
We want trust and unconditionality. Unconditionality meaning that the person loves us and that love is not conditioned upon anything else. Trust meaning that they would jump if we said jump, where they may normally hesitate with anyone else. My husband and my best friend can both call me and say, "Write this date down and clear it. I'll talk to you later about what we're doing." I'm in. For many other people, that would not be the case. I'd need to hear the WHY before I cleared my schedule and consider the pros/cons. With my husband and with my best friend, the WHY is I trust them. That is enough. And vice versa. With the relationships closest to us, if there is someone you have been turning yourself inside out with and they have still not gone to the trainings, set the training aside and look to your relationship. If it is your husband, wife, best friend etc. -- address the trust in your relationship. If trust has been broken and it is not there, then reestablish it. But the reestablishing of trust is not a pro-longed process. Trust can be given as a choice -- today, with us living into that possibility. Trust is not watching someone as a guinea pig to determine whether you will finally give trust to them.
Likewise, you are not setting a condition for the person that they attend the training -- that would not be an unconditional relationship on your end. The training is just a symptom of your trust. If you have a trusting relationship, it will show up in many ways -- one of them being the person being willing to jump simply because YOU are the one who is asking. Again -- this is not everyone in our lives (wouldn't that be amazing to create) -- but definitely our closest relationships.
I am passionate about enrollment. I notice I could write for another hour or two. This is a nice bite of the feast that is the practice of enrollment. I have delighted in becoming masterful in enrollment and still consider it one of the greatest honors of my lifetime to stand for someone to live their dreams and be the human being they came to this earth to be. I still know no more powerful vehicle for people to manifest Who they Are, than the trainings. I still get excited and nervous when I enroll someone - because the possibility for their life is so magnificent.
May you have the same joy, privilege and honor to stand for those you love and enroll them.
And may you continue to be enrolled in the biggest possibilities for your life -- even if AND ESPECIALLY WHEN it challenges you to reinvent you.